The scarlet letter of first dates...

You know how first dates usually go: The awkward silences after you admit that you blog. The vapid looks you give after he tells you he lives in his parents basement. The emotional roller-coaster when he walks away because even if he wasn't exactly what you wanted...what if, just what if...he's great in the sack?

Wouldn't it just be great if society didn't judge you based on your rampant promiscuous tendencies but rather on the quality of your performance? But, that's probably a different blog...I digress...

Today I'll finger the first date fuck. You know you've all done it and if you haven't, you're forgetting someone. If I've done it, you have. Ok...bad example, I've probably done a lot of things you haven't...

So, my point is...who's to say that getting down after a first date is a bad thing? What's the point of spending all that time getting to know someone if you can't test drive them first to see if maybe they are someone you might want to introduce your friends to, or at least, let sweat all over you again?

And why should we have to think about it so much? I agree that my train of thought is a bit progressive and liberal (albeit maybe jaded too) than that of my conservative counterparts but why do we put so much stock into what's going to happen next in relationships?

I'd rather just live and let live. Diddling skittles with a guy on the first date doesn't necessarily mark you for life as a harlot. There is something to be said for the vibes you are getting from the other party that play a huge role in what your intentions become. Why should you be able to enjoy each others company in all aspects of conversation and the fun factor of being with someone just as long as it stops at the bedroom?

I'll admit that I haven't said 'yes' to every guy who's tried to bed me after the first date but I have...on occasion. You probably wouldn't blame me if I told you the circumstances either. There's something to be said for the right wine, the perfect conversation, the way he touches your hand across the table, how many times he stops talking because (he says) he had to catch his breath at the sight of you, the way he pulls you close to his hard body and whispers in your ear as he kisses you on the pier overlooking the sound at sunset.

Yeah, it's happened a few times...wow...calm down Seattle...

Ok...back to business after a short break...

(Insert Jeopardy theme here...)

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Having sex on the first date doesn't necessarily rule out a potential future relationship with a person. In my advice, it just makes things a lot less difficult-you got the main stress factor out of the way, right? Smooth sailing from there.

I should warn though that communication is very, very important. By no means should you lead the other party to believe something that isn't true. For example, don't play like you intend to have a relationship with the person if you're not or play like you don't want one if you actually do. Make sense?

I've found that as long as I'm true to my intentions, things are usually very clear for both parties involved.

Failure to communicate is the biggest issue when it comes to relationships for as far back as there is human history...why would it be any different for fucking on the first date?

I've heard that this messes with the 'chase' that people are so enamored with but, if this is the case, shouldn't we also be a little worried about the 'wasting of our time' aspect of things. Personally, I've had a 'connection' with people that ended at the bedroom door because there was nothing there to keep me coming back for more. It's sad but it does happen. It's better even yet when you've found that person and figured out on the first date that he/she is everything you were hoping for!

With all this said, if it is meant to be, it's meant to be. Go into dating with no expectations so that you'll be pleasantly surprised or, at least, not disappointed...this goes for sex too, I've learned.

My disclaimer: don't make this a run of the mill thing you do...if so, you deserve the slut tag you will be pinned with. Come on...you know what feels like the right connection. And you know when you just need sex because you're a whore in training...figure it out.

So the next time you feel the bond with someone on a first date, take my ever-experienced advice and let all your worries go. You are a new age woman/man-you deserve this!