...and not the kind that gets paid for her 'services' either.
But what makes me feel better is that YOU are too! I ran across a study recently (a study actually released in 2007) that notes the average number of sexual partners a man has is 7 and the average number for women is 4.
4!?!
You can imagine my surprise when I realized that my number is actually more than 4 x's that amount! And I don't live in New York where the median number is still only 9!
The moment of truth: I've had a few one night stands-one of which I had twice! I met a guy at a bar (ugh), went home with him and never called him. Four months later at the same bar we replayed the first night over again with me, knowing full well, that he didn't recognize me.
I slept with a guy who was a virgin and only remembered his name last winter when my sister and I were talking about old friends...he was her friend and she doesn't know I had sex with him. I was only 19 though and he was only my 2nd partner (I didn't start having sex til I was out of high school, at least).
I'm really not sure how it would go over if I told her-I assume it would be fine since she's married now with multiple kids and they were only friends anyway but...for now, I'll just keep this info to myself.
I've had many 'relationships' (be it a friend with benefits situation or actual boyfriend). And by many, I mean...MANY. Dating is a part of life-with every relationship you're supposed to learn something about yourself or about people. I've realized recently that these relationships have helped me gain an understanding about men that people, like my youngest sister-who will soon marry the only person she's ever been with-will never be able to comprehend.
While I envy the fact that she was able to find and marry the 'one' the first time out, I also wonder if I'd wonder 'what if'?
What if I missed out on opportunities sexually?
What if there is someone else out there that is just that much more 'in tune' with me?
What if my vision of 'romance' can be topped?
With all that said, I know for sure that I haven't missed out-which makes me understand that I could be ready for a stable relationship if one should catch my eye.'
But I digress...
I do have a list but not because I need to remember their names but because notches on my bedpost (of which actually has been the same since I started having sex) seemed a big callous. Although, I'll also admit that I have a 'name' or two on the list that include 'guy from fall 2007', 'bar guy' and, until recently, 'the virgin'.
I guess I take solace in the fact that "women with higher numbers tend to be more educated, have more liberal views and higher self-esteem."
But doesn't that sound just about opposite of what we've always been led to believe? If you sleep with too many people, don't you devalue sex in a way? Isn't sex supposed to be special?
Yes, yes it is! But sometimes, just sometimes...it's a means to an end. Please don't patronize me by saying 'I never just have sex because I'm horny. It's always special and loving and sensitive' because I know you're not being honest.
Once in a while, it's just sex. I'm not saying it should be unfeeling, just that sometimes-it's filling a need for the moment.
I'm also not saying that 'just sex' is the way you should always have sex. Everyone knows that the best sex is with someone you truly have feelings for...if you haven't, you are missing out-I PROMISE!
I know for a fact that I have a higher than normal sex drive-it's even been an 'issue' in a few relationships.
Yes, it is possible for a woman to want more sex than a guy can provide. I have a friend whom I think might be just as exuberant as me but maybe she's not as willing to be as daring.
The point? Go forward and have sex! Don't let your numbers worry you or lack of numbers keep you from being with the one that makes you happy. It's all relative, right?
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3 comments:
Hello,
I'm sorry I've kind of invaded your blog without really knowing you other than what I've read on here or what I've seen from my adventures through Morphine Nation: 2 of my friends and one of my ex's write for the site as well.
The statements you make in a number of your blogs, are very familiar to me especially recently.
I just have a few questions that I wanted to ask, and I'm really not trying to be overly personal so if you don't feel like answering them I understand. But here it goes...
1)What was your relationship like with the man or boy that took your virginity?
2)Who ended the relationship between him and you?
3)Did you sleep with him a number of times after the initial break up? Or did you avoid each other?
It's hard to actually give you context on why I'm asking these question without sounding like a complete idiot but I guess I can try, if you actually want to know.
Again I'm sorry for bothering you with these questions, but you seem like the kind of woman who could give me the insight I need.
Thank You
No worries about the invasion-I wouldn't put anything on here I didn't want people to know about me.
That said, you'll have to forgive me for not answering your questions-there are a few things I keep private especially on the internet because of some obvious reasons.
I'm really glad you read MN and that you've wandered over to the dark side here-I would really like to answer your questions so maybe if I knew who I was dealing with, it might be more helpful because the advice I'd give a guy is different than the advice I'd give a girl. Again, I'm really sorry I can't go into detail with your questions unless I knew you better.
If you truly have friends on MN, you'll know how to contact me via private message there and we can chat about it. :)
~seattle freeze
That sounds good.
I'm sorry that it was so personal, I'm a 22 year old male who lives in the mid-west, apparently approaching my last sexual conquest according to the "experts" lol
I actually have my own Blogspot (cainfaustblak.blogspot.com) that I've had for a little over a year now which might help you get to know me, although I'm mostly a fiction writer, but I have a few rants and raves on there too.
I'll def. try to get a hold of you on MN. =]
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