STFU skinny bitch

Many of you have noticed that I am a woman and with my womanhood comes a love of shoes, clothes, hair, all things glitter, things that sparkle, Mark Wahlberg and basically, shopping in general.

As far as shopping goes, I go it alone. I actually prefer it this way because I don't like to be rushed, I'm kinda picky and I don't want to have to go look at baby clothes (if I go with a new mother), tools (if I go with a guy), toys (if I go with a kid), etc... Shopping is a very 'me' sport. I know what I want, I get it (on my terms) and I get out. End of story.

I also don't like to talk when I'm shopping. Now, I love helping friends/family with THEIR shopping and I'm very good at giving opinions on THEIR purchases, etc. and if it's mutual stuff-I can handle that too but when it comes to me-type things, I'll be left alone thank you (guys-read that as: I'll never ask you to go bra shopping with me).

With that said, my biggest pet peeve is when another shopper (a stranger) tries to have a conversation with me (with the exception of old ladies or men who need help, of course). I'm always willing to help out the elderly (someday I'll be there).

And I'm not outright rude to people, I just don't make eye contact. It helps me keep to myself (unless it's a hot guy...then all bets are off).

So, yes, there is a point to this post...basically I need to vent.

The other day I walked into a clothing store after having spent 2 hours washing my car (picture-ratty ponytail, dirt under my nails, maybe car wax on my shirt and possibly running mascara-I was HOT *sarcasm). BTW...my car is gorgeous! I'm in the store for an exact 13 seconds when this lady (older than me but prob only 40ish), comes up to me and asks me if I work there:

Lady: Do you work here?

Me: (looking around to make sure she's talking to me-as I mentioned I look a bit unkempt if I were to be at work) Ummm...No.

Lady: Oh, well I'm just trying to find the clearance racks.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry.

Lady: I need to buy a whole new wardrobe and this stuff is too big.

Me: (getting irritated) Hmm...

Lady: My boyfriend said I could buy new clothes if I lost weight and I just lost a ton of it! It just shed off like it was nothing-now I'm a size 2.

Me: (in my head) wtf?

Lady: (she kept talking but her words started to drown out as my head filled with ways I could blast her for all the stupid things she just said on my blog...this went on for probably 10 mins)

I just stopped responding and she eventually floated away and found an actual employee. I know this because she is also one of those people who need everything they say to be heard by everyone else.

So, I'll dissect what irritated me (up until I stopped listening):

Boyfriend SAID she could buy new clothes? Now, I'm not a feminist or anything but WHAT? Seriously...it's like this woman I work with who said she doesn't believe in global warming because her husband says there's no such thing. ...idiot.

Wait! She has a boyfriend? Fuck.

The weight just shed off? Size 2? Fuck you. As much as I'd like to think I'm a nice enough person, I can't handle it when people blatantly brag about things (especially weight-that one irks me for personal reasons). I guess I completely understand it if it's one of my friends or family though but-if I don't know you...you should shut up before I rip off one of your skinny arms and beat you with it.

And...the fact she actually tried to have an ongoing conversation all about herself with a complete stranger? By the end of it, I was under the assumption she was a tad bit crazy. Too bad I'll never know!

Ok...venting done for the day. :)