I have always fully accepted that my kid isn't perfect, never will be and shouldn't ever be expected to be (no matter how hard I try). I understand that she's going to have moments of temper, moments of bad decision-making and moments of selfishness...she's a kid, it's expected. But I do have to admit that (now that she's older), it's easier to fix. And, the most important thing is...I don't put up with it. She doesn't talk to me like she runs the household...it doesn't fly. She's not as rude and she's definitely not rude or disrespectful to other adults...and she truly cares about others.
Ok...I'm going somewhere with this, I promise. This rant isn't really about my kid though, it's about the neighborhood bully-a year younger than Lex who has targeted her as his 'victim'. Unfortunately for Lex, this has been going on for several years now. What I don't understand is how someone so young (in his case) knows how precisely to fuck with another person? Why do you think you can blatantly lie about things and, just because you're a kid, think you can get away with it? How does he know what to say to hurt someone so deeply? How does he know about so many inappropriate things to say to spout off at opportune moments? And why is he so horribly disrespectful of another human being?
What it comes down to is...his parents. I'll give you a bit of back story here... His parents consist of an alcoholic (recovering or not, I'm not sure) and a woman who suffers from chronic depression. How do I know this? The mother, of course. I'm sure it's all in an attempt at attention but when you ever get the 'opportunity' to talk to her, she doesn't shut up. I've gone over there to complain about the way her kid treats my kid several times only to end up hearing about her life story including the sob story of her husband's alcoholism, the reasons she left him in the first place, his coming back and her bragging rights to being on meds to control her depression along with using it as an excuse to not be able to work. Uh...maybe you'd be less depressed if you had not let your alcoholic husband come back and treat you and your kid like crap. Plus...your kid treats you like crap because his dad makes it seem like it's something that should be accepted.
What brought on this rant? My weekend drama:
Lex had a friend spend the night on Friday night and Saturday morning they went outside to play. Amid their playing, the little girl broke something in the complex (doing something Lex told her they weren't supposed to do). So...yeah, I was ticked...obviously...but I called and left a message for the manager letting him know and asking him to call me.
He didn't call. I assumed either he was busy or...it wasn't a big deal since the object that got broken was already broken (the girl just made it worse).
8:00 pm...a knock at my door. It was the evil spawn's alcoholic father.
Him: I just need to talk to Alexa.I was assured by the manager's wife that they would talk to him but that doesn't stop me from being freaked out. Forgive me for being dramatic but...what if this guy goes on a bender and decides to take out his aggression on me...or worse, Lex? And...since I already mentioned that the kid is horrible, you can bet he's already told Lex that his dad has a gun...fuck.
Me: Oookaaayyy. (leary of the situation but Lex is right next to me)
Him: Alexa I just wanted to tell you that you can't blame the broken railing on (insert his kid's name). He gets blamed for everything and I wanted you to know that he's not going to get blamed for this because you broke it. (PS-the kid gets blamed for things because he's usually the one I WATCH actually causing the destruction, you jackass! Oh...and then lying to you about it...nice touch).
Me: (extremely pissed at his outburst towards my child) Excuse me? You can't talk to her that way! I don't know what you're talking about but she has a father and it's NOT YOU (granted she has no contact with her dad but...he doesn't know that)! We didn't blame him for anything, I'll have you know. I called the manager and he has yet to call me back. I'll take it up with (insert manager's name), it has nothing to do with you.
Him: (to me...finally) grumble, grumble (something incomprehensible...maybe because he was drunk...I don't know) Well, I just want to make sure...
Me: Slamming door in his face, picking up phone and dialing the manager's number (yet again) to complain about this guy.
Have you ever known someone who just gave you the willies? Someone who, you would swear, was a pedophile, rapist or peeping tom? This guy has always made me feel uncomfortable in a leering, sex offender sort of way. And...what the fuck? Would you ever, EVER go about the situation like he did? Who the fuck does he think he is talking to my kid that way?? My own brother wouldn't talk to her that way and he certainly (as her uncle) has every right to reprimand her. Plus...I WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE! I would never dream about doing that to another kid that I wasn't responsible for and who's parent is RIGHT FUCKING THERE! And was he feeling a bit defensive because he knows his kid is the next Timothy McVeigh and possibly was the one who broke the railing in the first place? Destructive little jerk that he is? Oh yeah...and...are you fucking kidding? What the hell do you care? No one even mentioned it to you! Plus...it's not your responsibility asshole!
So...since this has gone on for way too long, I feel the only thing I can do is move my daughter out of the situation. So yeah, since they're already closing her school at the end of the year (due to budget cuts in the district) she'll be switching schools anyway...and I'll be looking to move. Eastside maybe? Seattle? Just somewhere else...hopefully.
Until then, Lex is stuck playing extremely close to my apartment and forbidden to talk to the other kid (although the kid makes this hard because he incessantly taunts her and calls her names).
So...I know it's a controversial topic but...thoughts on sterilizing people who would make 'unfit' parents? And...maybe your definition of 'unfit'? Plus...now what do I do???? :)
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2 comments:
Sounds like you did fine. I wouldn't have let him talk to her I would have told him whatever he needed to say it better be to me. Anyway, just watch her like a hawk and do what you're doing. Ninja kick him in the face if you have to! And yes, it would be great if we knew which people shouldn't have kids right away and sterilize them right off. That would be fantastic! There are too many frickin people clogging up the world as it is.
Ok so it's not like I 'allowed' him to talk to her, she was conveniently right next to me as I opened the door and he just started ranting.
He never even looked at me until I said "Excuse me?"
And, after careful thought, I'd rather kick him in the throat.
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